I had a dream... – Commentary by Tony Penney
Last night I had a dream.
It had to do with politicians and my beloved South.
I dreamed Congress announced, after exhaustive studies, that the Confederate
States did indeed have the right to secede. Southern legislators
sprouted 'I Heart Battleflag' lapel pins and Dixie was heard whistled in hallways.
In a
conciliatory gesture, Yankee lawmakers escorted ladies from the U.D.C. to
tours of the Capitol and were seen ordering grits for breakfast.
Not to be outdone, the Congressional Black Caucus conceded in open conference that
Southerners were eating greens and ribs way before they were known as soul food.
In the interest of goodwill, Representatives from above the Mason-Dixon line
proposed limiting the number of Northerners living down south, in direct proportion
to how many of us moved up there.
The media and press got on the bandwagon with Bill O'Reilly confessing he didn't know beans about the
Southern way of life, and until he did, he'd keep his mouth shut about it and urge other pinheads to do so as well.
On CNN, Ted Turner petitioned the UN for his money back and pledged to apply it to create The Preservation of
Southern Culture and All Things Christian Foundation.
Je$$e Jack$on and Reverend Al Sharpton vowed to end distortions and slurs aimed at the South, accepting as penalty an eternity rattling in Robert Byrd's closet
if they ever backslid.
Oh, the humanity of it all...it seemed to know no bounds.
Governor Sonny Perdue, who'd been less than truthful with the people, sought forgiveness.
With fiery oratory not heard since Eugene Talmadge, he championed the State
Flag Fair Vote bill, giving Georgians the right to choose their state symbol. And
as a personal point of honor, announced he would not seek a second term.
That's when I woke up.
Tony Penney is an Unreconstructed Georgian, and a carpenter who lives in Dublin. His email is: TPENNEY@peoplepc.com.
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